Honey, I Shrunk the Tenchi!
by Derrot
Summary: Washu's shrinking machine causes trouble for Tenchi and the gang.


Honey, I Shrunk the Tenchi  
  
Note: Unlike how it sounds, this is not a "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" crossover. This is part of my "Washu's Wacky Inventions" trilogy.   
  
~**(^_~)**~   
  
"Hey everybody, come down here into my lab!" called Washu.   
  
It minutes, everyone was there. (Except for Nobyuki who was still at work, Grandpa who was at the shrine, Ryo-ohki who was sleeping, and Kiyone and Mihoshi who were out shopping.)   
  
"This isn't one of your inventions again, is it? If it is, I'm out of here!" Tenchi exclaimed, who obviously hadn't recovered from the problems her last invention gave him. Mihoshi was always trying to sneak that de-aging potion into his food or drink. She got such a kick out of that!   
  
"Don't worry, Tenchi. This new invention won't make you younger, but it may make you smaller." she reassured him with a smile.   
  
Tenchi took one look at her smile and turned to the door. "I'm out of here. Bye."   
  
Washu ran in front of him. "Tenchi, I'm not going to shrink you. I just want to tell you about it and show you what it does! Please, Tenchi!" She made a boo-boo face that Tenchi just couldn't resist.   
  
"Oh, all right...but only as long as you promise nothing funny is going to happen." Tenchi warned.   
  
"I promise!" She made her 'smile' again. "Ok. I got this idea from laptops and cell phones. Everybody seems to like things when they are smaller and portable. With this invention, people can make everything smaller and portable when they go on trips or move. With this invention, a backpack could carry a whole room's worth of stuff, the trunk of a car could carry your whole house! When you get to the destination, Presto! You just transform everything back to their normal size! Isn't that useful?!" Everybody nodded. "Do you want me to show you how it works?" Everybody nodded. "You just place the object or objects around the machine."   
  
"Like this?" Everybody but Tenchi said. They stepped around the machine. Tenchi didn't, but Ryoko pulled him over by her.   
  
Washu nodded. "Then you flip the switch".   
  
"Noooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tenchi screamed as Washu flipped the switch.   
  
Everything went from bright white to pitch black. All fell silent.   
  
~**(^_~)**~   
  
Ryo-ohki yawned and woke up from her 'bed' in a bowl that used to be filled with carrots. She rolled over and fell into what remained of her Ranch dip. Where's Sasami? she thought. She silently trudged out of the kitchen in search of her friend.   
  
~**(^_~)**~   
  
Everybody stared around Washu's lab. The shrinking machine, which was only 4 feet high, appeared to be 100 feet tall! Tenchi rushed over to Washu and started strangling her...something beyond his kind, sweet nature. Ryoko and Ayeka tried to pull him off Washu...something they were not used to doing because they are usually trying to strangle Washu. Sasami just watched it as if it were an interesting championship wrestling match.   
  
"Washu, change us back, NOW!" Tenchi growled after Ryoko and Ayeka had succeeded pulling him off Washu.   
  
Ryoko and Ayeka immediately started fighting over who would pull Tenchi off Washu when he tried strangling Washu again.   
  
"Uh..." Washu looked around for a place to hide. She sweated nervously. "Look," she pointed up. "We can't change ourselves back. The machine was only meant for a few small objects or one big object to be shrunk at one time. With all of us standing under the machine, it caused some internal explosion. See all the smoke!"   
  
"Then fix it," Tenchi was really annoyed.   
  
"How do you think I'm supposed to get up there?" Washu was incredulous.   
  
Tenchi paced back in forth with his head buried in his hands. He stopped. He pointed an accusing finger at Washu. "You promised nothing funny would happen!"   
  
"This is funny?!" Washu pointed out.   
  
Two small roars sounded. Ryoko and Ayeka gave nervous smiles.   
  
Sasami smiled. "I guess all this commotion is making you guys hungry, huh?"   
  
All 5 of them made their way to kitchen by following the baseboards. Only then did they find that they could not reach any of the food! So they made their way to the living room to see if anyone left any food out or anything, only to confront a giant cabbit!   
  
Ryo-ohki was startled and gave a loud shriek-like Meoooooooooooooooooooow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Little People! she thought.   
  
The door to the front of the house opened. "Helloooooooooooo everybody!" Nobyuki shouted. When nobody answered him, he sighed. "They must be watching TV." He creeped over to the couch to see if he could scare one of the girls (he needs help), but to his surprise, nobody was there.   
  
All of the sudden, Ryo-ohki ran over to him. She looked frightened. She let out a long series of scared Meows, which, of course, Nobyuki could not understand.   
  
Nobyuki tried to think of something to say to Ryo-ohki. "You're hungry? So am I! I know where Sasami keeps her secret stash of carrots! C'mon!"   
  
Ryo-ohki was not beyond having more carrots, so she trotted after him to the kitchen, forgetting her encounter with the little people like a bad dream.   
  
~**(^_~)**~   
  
"Dad! Dad!" Tenchi yelled as he saw his dad walking toward the kitchen.   
  
Ryoko clasped her hand over his mouth, and then spoke up for the first time that day. "Shut up, Tenchi! Don't you see that now that we are smaller, we can go anywhere! We can sneak on to a plane to Hawaii and live in paradise forever! We can do whatever we want together! You said you'd love to go somewhere alone with me, now we can make it real!"   
  
Tenchi looked confused. "I said that?!"   
  
"You did!" Ryoko said convincingly.   
  
Ayeka was outraged. "Oh no you don't, Ryoko! Tenchi is mine! We are both of noble blood..."   
  
Ryoko threw a huge laser blast at Ayeka that scorched Ayeka face. Then she stuck her tongue out at her. "I can fly, and you can't so nah nah nah nah boo boo!" With that, she picked up Tenchi and started to fly away.   
  
Ayeka was furious. "Azaka! Tamadaki! Stop Ryoko!" she screamed.   
  
Even when her voice sounded like a mouse squeak, Azaka and Tamadaki still came to do their master's dirty work. Ayeka had to dodge so that she wouldn't be squished by her guardians. When they started firing huge lasers blasts at Ryoko, Ayeka realized that Tenchi might get hurt, so she reluctantly called them off. She looked on hopelessly as "her" Tenchi was being carried off (literally) by "the demon lady".   
  
~**(^_~)**~   
  
Ryoko carried Tenchi up the stairs and floated down at the door to Ayeka's room.   
  
"I thought we were going to Hawaii?" Tenchi asked.   
  
"We are, but first we are going to have some fun," she said, happy that her Tenchi was willing to be alone with her.   
  
"What kind of fun?" Tenchi was afraid to ask.   
  
"Oh, we're just going to read Ayeka's diary and see what kind of nasty stuff she wrote about me." she said.   
  
"Wait a minute. Couldn't you have done that before? I mean, you can walk and fly though walls." Tenchi remembered how many times she had invaded his personal space by flying into his bedroom or appearing in the bathtub with him.   
  
"Ayeka ordered Azaka and Tamadaki to put laser fields around her walls and door," Ryoko explained.   
  
"Then we won't be able to enter now either, will we?" Tenchi tried to reason.   
  
"But don't you see? We are now so small, we can avoid the laser fields!" she explained once more.   
  
"I don't know about this..." Tenchi started.   
  
Ryoko picked him up again and floated through the door...unfortunately, Tenchi can't go through walls. His head smacked against the door and when Ryoko floated out of the door to see what happened to Tenchi, he had swirling eyes and a big bump on his head. Her logical thinking kicked in and she decided that they should both should crawl under the door.   
  
Once on the other side, Ryoko seemed to know exactly where to look. Underneath Ayeka's bed was a thick book. Ryoko opened the book. Tenchi gave another "I don't think we should be doing this..."   
  
Ryoko read it aloud. "May 20: Tenchi is cute, May 21: I love Tenchi!, May 22: Tenchi wore a white shirt." Disgusted, Ryoko slammed the book closed. "Where's all the gossip?! Where's all the nasty 'Ryoko is a demon' stuff?!" Tenchi shrugged. Ryoko smiled. She opened the book to the back. Under *Notes* Ayeka had one entry: "A Poem for My Beloved" (Note: This is the same poem in Tenchi in Tokyo episode #1) Tenchi my lord. Oh my lord Tenchi. Tenchi my lord. Oh my lord Tenchi. Ryoko slammed the book again. Ryoko looked at him. Tenchi blushed.   
  
She gave him a big hug. "Oh Tenchi, she's corrupted you! You need to stay away from her! Now let's go to the Bahamas!"   
  
"I thought we were going to Hawaii?" Tenchi asked for a second time.   
  
"I'll take you wherever you want to go!" Ryoko smiled.   
  
Tenchi thought for a moment. "If it isn't too much trouble for you, I would love to go to Australia!"   
  
"Then next stop: Sydney, Australia!" Ryoko smiled again.   
  
They both crawled under the door and Ryoko flew them down the stairs.   
  
~**(^_~)**~   
  
Meanwhile, Washu was trying to figure out what to do. She knew Ryoko would not fly her up to the shrinking machine because Ryoko liked being small. Nobyuki might do something stupid and totally ignorant if she told him about the machine. She would just have to wait until Kiyone and Mihoshi got home. Uh...Mihoshi...maybe she should wait until Grandpa got home.   
  
Ayeka was crying over how Washu's stupid inventions has ruined her life.   
  
Sasami was going to ask if perhaps Ryo-ohki could help them, but then remembered how scared Ryo-ohki was the last time she saw them.   
  
~**(^_~)**~ Nobyuki was feeding Ryo-ohki carrot after carrot. The cabbit was getting fatter and fatter. Eventually he ran out of carrots. Ryo-ohki rolled over to him and gave him an affectionate hug.   
  
"I wonder where Tenchi and the girls are. Have you seen them, Ryo-ohki?" he asked.   
  
Ryo-ohki shook her head. Then she remembered the little people. "Meow, Meow Meooooow!" she meowed.   
  
"Oh, I knew I forgot something...the Ranch dip!" he exclaimed.   
  
Ryo-ohki fell down.   
  
~**(^_~)**~   
  
Kiyone and Mihoshi walked into the house. They slipped of their shoes and put down their shopping bags. "We're home," they called out.   
  
All of the sudden, Kiyone saw something flying through the air and swatted it. "We had better tell Tenchi's dad about the pest problem we've been having lately."   
  
"Eeewww, I hate bugs!" Mihoshi exclaimed.   
  
~**(^_~)**~   
  
Ryoko and Tenchi went tumbling to the ground. "We had better tell Tenchi's dad about the pest problem we've been having lately," Ryoko mocked.   
  
"I don't think we're going to Hawaii anytime soon..." Tenchi whispered to Ryoko.   
  
"I thought you wanted to go to Australia?" Ryoko was confused.   
  
"I don't think we're going anywhere!" he yelled.   
  
Ryoko whined. "Tenchi, don't you like me any more? I thought you said..."   
  
Tenchi grabbed her and pointed up. She gasped. Kiyone had come back with a (big!) fly swatter to squish what remained of the "bugs". Mihoshi stood behind her with a disgusted "Ew, bugs" look.   
  
Ryoko quickly picked up Tenchi and flew away.   
  
~**(^_~)**~   
  
"Darn," Kiyone said.   
  
"Did you get it?" Mihoshi asked.   
  
"Does it look like I got it?" Kiyone yelled at her sarcastically.   
  
"Uh..." Mihoshi gave her thinking look, which was also her blank look.   
  
"No!" Kiyone yelled, startling Mihoshi while she was "thinking".   
  
"Go close the doors. This bug is not getting away alive!" Kiyone said. She looked like a hunter when she stalked through the living room. Mihoshi quickly ran upstairs to close the doors.   
  
Nobyuki walked into the living room. "I didn't know you were home, how has your day been?   
  
The fat Ryo-ohki rolled over to greet them. "Meow Meow!"   
  
"Shh. Be quiet. Kiyone is trying to kill a bug!" Mihoshi told Nobyuki.   
  
"Shh!" Kiyone said in Mihoshi's direction and held up the fly swatter.   
  
"See!" She shouted, and got another "Shh" from Kiyone.   
  
"Bug?!?!?!" Nobyuki screamed and ran into the dining room. Then he took cover underneath the table. (I told you he needs help!)   
  
"It's only a fly!" Mihoshi giggled.   
  
"Oh!" Nobyuki tried to sound surprised. Then when he got up, he hit his head on the bottom of the table. (Remember: Japanese tables are short and low to the ground.) "Owie!" he screamed.   
  
"Shhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kiyone she said in his direction. She put a finger over her mouth.   
  
~**(^_~)**~   
  
Ryoko tried yelling in Kiyone's direction. This was against her original plan, but she didn't want to be squished either.   
  
Kiyone bent down and stared at the small Ryoko and Tenchi. "Ryoko...Tenchi...is that you?" She started giggling.   
  
Ryoko got down on her knees. "Don't squish me or Tenchi, we're going to London!" Then she looked over at Tenchi. "Or was it Paris?" She rubbed her chin in thought.   
  
"Hawaii!" Tenchi reminded her.   
  
"No, it was Australia!" she disagreed.   
  
"Oh, yeah..." Tenchi remembered.   
  
Kiyone looked confused for a moment. Then she laughed. "This is just great!"   
  
Ayeka had made her way over to where all the excitement and commotion was going on. "This is just great, what?!" She demanded.   
  
Kiyone picked up Tenchi. "You know Tenchi, I have always liked you..." She gave him her most evilest smile. She held him up to her lips.   
  
Tenchi got the wrong idea. "Aaaaagggggg!!!!!! Ryoko, help me! She's going to eat me!"   
  
Both Ryoko and Ayeka panicked too.   
  
"Kiyone, put Lord Tenchi down right this instant!" Ayeka screamed.   
  
Ryoko tried to rescue Tenchi, but was swatted down like before.   
  
"Fools! I'm not going to eat Tenchi! I'm going to kiss Tenchi!" She gave another evil smile.   
  
"Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's even worse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" both girls cried in unison.   
  
"Oh, thanks...you would rather have Kiyone eat me than kiss me...oh thanks!" Tenchi yelled down to them sarcastically.   
  
"You know Tenchi, I have always liked you. That's why even when I'm promoted, I always stick around. Otherwise, I would be spending the rest of my life avoiding Mihoshi! Tenchi, I love you! I have your picture posted everywhere on the walls of my room!" Kiyone told him with big sad tear-filled eyes.   
  
"Oh...so that's why Tenchi's picture is everywhere in our apartment..." Mihoshi observed.   
  
Kiyone continued. "Now that you are small and mini, I can carry you wherever I like!" Kiyone started to carry on with her evil deed.   
  
Then the door opened...   
  
~**(^_~)**~   
  
Grandpa walked in. Kiyone immediately put down Tenchi. Mihoshi hit her with a broom and tied her up with rope for no apparent reason. She called the Galaxy Police and said that she caught an evil villain: Kiyone. They laughed and hung up on her. (Silly Mihoshi! You are a Galaxy Police Officer!)   
  
Grandpa helped Washu fix her machine. Everybody turned back to normal.   
  
THE END  
  
~**(^_~)**~   
  
EPILOGUE   
  
Tenchi: He still fears Washu's inventions. He has resumed his pleasant nature, though.   
  
Ryoko: She is very sorry that she wasn't able to take Tenchi to Hawaii or New York or whatever.   
  
Ayeka: She found out that someone read her diary. I wonder who could've done that...   
  
Sasami: She is wondering who ate all the carrots.   
  
Ryo-ohki: She has joined the Jenny Craig weight loss program. Her motto is now "Meow Meow, Meow Meow!" or "Call 1-800-Jenny". (And she thought carrots were fat-free!)   
  
Nobyuki: He's still afraid of bugs. Tenchi is starting to get scared and concerned.   
  
Washu: She's thinking up a new invention!   
  
Mihoshi: She now is trying to sneak the de-aging potion into her naughty friend Kiyone's food and drink.   
  
Kiyone: She still yearns for Tenchi now that she has confessed.   
  
Grandpa: He is still Tenchi's Grandpa Masaki Katsuhito! (I thinks that's how you spell it.).   
  
Azaka and Tamadaki: They are still the drones of Ayeka. The logs are happy (of course!) that their lady has returned to her normal self. 


End file.
